koi toy

e hele ana 'oe i ke aha?

2008-10-18T19:43:00.000-07:00

i do not know whether i was then a man dreaming i was a butterfly, or whether i am now a butterfly, dreaming i am a man.

- Zhuangzi (Chinese Philosopher)

am i a butterfly?

2008-10-18T18:54:00.000-07:00

my dreams are fruitless dreams, i have no seed, only a womb.

where is little red riding hood?

its ridiculous for bodies of water to stay together.

the following are poems inspired by russell edson. bless his soul.

All They Are

His buttons are mad. They stare across the room with empty eyes and all frowning. They are unhappy to be used: all they are is used. So they try to undo themselves. "Stop," I say "Stop, this is too much." And I grab them by their empty eyes and press them back in through their corresponding holes. they are always used.

The One They Call the Healer

The Patient asked again "And what is He for Doctor?" holding up a small serene pill. "Why, that is for the noise!" "Ah, yes, I remember now, and what of Him Doctor?" fingers pinching the same holy pill. "The vision, the vision" the Doctor sighed. The Patient raised the passive pill of Nazareth higher, displaying His friendly smile. "Yes, yes, of course, but what of Him?" "The tremors! Now take the pill!" The Doctor cried and the Patient complied. "Thank you Doctor, I know He died for me, but the reality of it all is terrible!" With that, the Doctor laid the Patient back in his familiar bed, and proceeded to undressed his wife.

The Smoking Tree

During the winter the tree thrived. Fall They arrived, but winter They stayed, lined up- two rows, like in a pack. In Baran They dwelled, and out of Baran They came, to sit and breathe, as nature intended, with the Smoking Tree. But summer drew Them away, and the Smoking Tree craved more, so it sunk its roots deep in the earth, as only an addict would, and took a deep drag, suffocating all life around it, leaving Baran, barren: the pattern of the season.

decomposing never looked so good.

2007-11-06T00:35:00.001-08:00

the earth spins
because the entire world tries to touch you at once,
because gaia molded life with you in mind.
and i've seen your face a thousand times
in the memories of "what use to be"'s
you knew me in a different light
so as cold settles like dust on my unkempt heart,
i wait until murder is "in" again
because you are my remedy.

rocket man, the sky is falling! 2006

2007-10-28T19:16:00.000-07:00

click to enlarge

click for closeup

count the pixels in the sky

2007-10-17T00:39:00.000-07:00

1 4
2 5
3 6

click to enlarge!
1 are we the last--living souls? (gorillaz lyrics)
2 praying on our own hasnt worked.. but jesus loves the little children, so we should steal one of them, and make them pray! he'll have to listen then!
3 can you keep a secret?
4 peace loving decoy, ready for retaliation (gorillaz lyrics) / perspective
5 love
6 i sold my silver lining to the devil (this looks so much cooler when its held up.)

why dont you pick up?

2007-09-25T01:19:00.000-07:00

rough draft.

Pluto is mega dull to the n^th degree. Who's bright idea was it to build a museum-theme park about the sun on a planet so far away?

When you are young, you think the trip will be mega-ill. You think "WOW! Space!" Then, when the transit finally takes off, (they're never on time), and you and your class, or your friends, or whomever, finally pierce through the black abyss, you're struck with total silence. The nothingness is consuming. It confuses most, more often than not. Although children are easily amused, the scenery never changes, and eventually they bore too.
Nothing goes on for a long time.

Right about now members start trying to fill that void with other sounds, minute compared to the vastness enclosing them. Like a plug to small fro the hole. You cant even worry about your problems.
When that doesnt work, they turn on their Programs, usually set to a movie of some sort.
My sister is not like these members. Of course, she hasnt got her program installed yet. Two weeks. Two weeks is the only thing that separates my sister and her present from the government.

Pluto is for her amusement, not mine. Your childhood isnt complete until you've went to Pluto. The entire ride over she babbled about "the 101^st presidents first action after he made a deal with Russia over Jupiters 3^rd moon proved to be a lucrative. . .", my Program set about to define lucrative. I dont know why she studies so hard. Studying is mega-dull. She wont need to once she has the Program. Catching a glance at my face she knows what im thinking- so she interrogates: "How many oceans are on Earth? Spell pesticide. How much wood would a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck wood?"
seconds go by as my Program retrieves the answers; seconds too late.
"4, p-e-s-t-i-c-i-d-e, 12."
"12? Why?"
"The answers always 12."
"Oh."
She rolls her eyes.
Her voice is the only one constantly audible on the entire space transit, what with not having her Program yet. Besides her, a light white noise and a quiet sob lingered in the air.

coconut fishing

2007-09-03T19:44:00.000-07:00

hey you where are your arms? / i woke up dizzy, morning with the blood all running down my shirt / i hope it doesnt scare you because (because) / its just a nose bleed /i didnt try to kill myself while you slept by my side, cause thats rude! / (i've been through chivalry, id never do that! think!)

- paper airplanes, an exciting new bears club

calm before the storm. set it off /and the sun burnt out tonight / a reception less than warm. set it off.

- calm before the storm, fall out boy

holding my breath for a whole month / if i held your breath, at least we would touch
keeping from you keeps me from sleep / its just this bad beat that i just cant keep

- stuck to you, hellogoodbye

everybody loves sun, why do i attract shade?

- love is..., common

i pick the blue out of your eyes

- better part of me, house of fools

the beat of your heart is music to my ears.

2007-08-23T21:54:00.000-07:00

song of the day is: d i g - i n c u b u s

caramel wide eyed delight
pick the chills out of your spine
twilight strikes your flesh so harshly
makes me want to kiss the wounds.

you speak volumes in your sleep
cant imagine me without you
yet dreams peak into other worlds
separate us in parallel lives.

the melody of your name
is hummed in the sway of flowers
each one blooming for you
hoping to be picked.

^if any of that made sense to you, then you are gay. *dramatic pause* and *gasp*
not saying its a bad thing. this is more factual than judgmental.
random thought: if you hide behind a fat lady you can avoid the radiation emitted from an atomic bomb. although the lady will be obliterated. i just stated this, but really im asking. is that possible? i heard something about this somewhere, god know, yet i cant seem to remember if it was real or not. something about the atomic bombs of hiroshima ]: sad i know. my dad might have cancer. he has what looks like a cancerous mole like thing on the side of his head, by his sideburns. he said it grew. i hope he doesnt die. that would not be fun at all. of course i know im overreacting. hes going to get it checked out from dr.potter [no not harry potter!], some wart, skin specialist. updates to follow. because i know you all care about my dads wellbeing. how sweet <3

easy come, easy go

2007-08-22T02:33:00.002-07:00

guess which one is me.

[hint* im the cutest]

its a sweet idea.

2007-08-20T22:27:00.001-07:00

If not all natural abilities are apparent at birth, that some appear over some time, then why cant people be born with natural talents in areas such as athletics? How can we be for certain that it is not genetics, but in fact, rigorous training and endless practices? This made more sense earlier today in psychology.
how could you know black bird was just what i wanted?
the three methods of learning:
1]association
2]rewards and punishment
3]vicarious observation
apparently there are no accidents in this world. some loser told that to me. how is it that i love losers? they are losers because they love me. with association
not quite a poem, yet not mere words.
raindrops look like little sperm as they race across the planes window.
the flower petals say you love me not
your horoscope says you should
im waiting for the right sign to tell me how you feel
because your body language is foreign with slang only locals know.

waiting for sleep to come and impregnate my mind with dreams

2007-07-25T03:05:00.000-07:00

this is addicting >> http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=1786290669722397530
sonny is evil for passing the knowledge of its existence on to me. hope you enjoy! :D

i sold my silverlining to the devil

2007-07-20T03:35:00.000-07:00

costco has everything for cheap! click to enlarge

went shopping in costco this weekend, and look what costco is serving! thought it was hilarious. just had to take a picture of it. really random, but really funny.

when do we lose the innocence of youth?

2007-07-13T01:46:00.000-07:00

i've been wondering all day. i've decided that babies are born innocent, and that the world influences and manipulates their nature during the process of their growth.
i played peak-a-boo with this adorable toddler in zippy's today. he was sitting with (who i assume is) his father at a table, and i was sitting on a bench waiting for my take-out. only 10ft, a thick pillar, and shyness seperate us. i waved when he started to stare, and he giggled as if i had tickled him. that was nothing compared to the shrill he let out when i had hid myself out of his line of sight and reappeared again. i could see him in the mirror on the wall as we continued our game, in which i would peep out from behind the pillar to see him peering out at me, then quickly hide again. the peak-a-boo-pole.
the little boy, so easily entertained, amused me. how long will it last? i wonder when it will take more than a stranger and a pillar to bring out the unsuspecting, trusting innocence.

oh, and some guy in a huge truck with huge wheels. where the hell are you going to use that? seriously, in waikiki, kaimuki, where is that useful? now if he lived kauai, thats another story!

some people confront their issuses, others write blogs about them.

2007-07-12T15:04:00.000-07:00

i got bored yesterday and made these silly little cardboard critters (click pictures to enlarge)

i got bored today and nailed them, (yes with a nail and hammer), on some telephone posts on a street near my house (click pictures to enlarge)

if home is where the heart is,then what about homeless people?

2007-07-10T23:28:00.000-07:00

i went to waikiki today, and bought a "homeless" man's sign. it said "why lie need beer". paid him with a 5. his name is richard freeman.
two children, divorced wife. plays guitar. got really into it at 17 when his girl friend dumped him. played with don ho. living in hawaii for about 20 years. native american (cherokee), irish, haole?.. college educated. lived in Hawaii Kai in a 3 story town house. hawaiian fillipino granddaughter (kinda looks like me). moved to mainland to study welding of metal. moved back to hawaii, threw out his back. out of work for 8 years or so. out of work. became a drunk. beard. long fingernails. dirty. kinda reminds me of santa claus. but beard isnt white. and hes not that fat. no red suit either. shirt with hole, shorts. guitar with case. kind eyes. polite. hat (quiksilver), towel (green and white striped, like from a hotel) no noticable piercings. houseless, not homeless. my new best friend.

my mortality sickens me.

2007-07-08T02:23:00.000-07:00

the countdown begins as soon as we are born: time ticking the moments away, ushering children through adulthood, toward old age and death. the human body is frail and pathetic; supseptible to hunger, disease, thirst, love, jealousy- weakness basically. i hate weakness. i swear that was one of the first things god created. first was time, then came weakness. soon after hate, murder, the p.e. program, and rape followed. then kittens. and icecream.

i'm not going to grow old. i refuse. simply refuse. to be so dependent and hanicapped..thats not appealing at all. flesh hanging from brittle bones, vision deterierating as eyes cloud over, all the while losing touch with reality as memories and thoughts are difficult to be recalled or retailed! that isnt living at all.

its settled. im growing young. with my puppy.

its a good thing i document my thoughts and ideas,lord knows what would happen to them if i didnt..

2007-07-07T14:36:00.000-07:00

testing testing 1 2 3...

once upon a time, there was a girl, a plain and ordinary girl, who had sex. then she died. the end. wait-what? well, im not sure why i made this blog, other than the fact that i am utterly bored with myspace and that i love editing webpages. html is so fun. yes i am a dork. no i dont have a life. but i do like writing short stories :D !